Friday, March 2, 2012

Time Out

Some people think corporal punishment is Biblical. I strongly disagree. The Bible (Proverbs 13:24 and 23:13) only says not to spare the "rod," which I think is a figure of speech for punishment and does not pertain to literal flogging. I just think children are too defenseless to be spanked. Besides, they learn most of what they do from adults anyway. So if anyone has some explaining to do, then all arrows point to us.

Unfortunately, Malik's at that stage where he's getting "difficult." He has a lot of energy pent up and he isn't exactly speaking yet, which I guess turns him into one frustrated mess. He has tantrums, throws things and even hits me and/or Pao when he's at his worst.


We try to make him realize the consequences of his acts. I like to think that he understands. I am yet to see him push a playmate out of frustration or grab a toy from another person, so I suppose our parenting style is working. When Malik hits me for example, I tell him in a very disappointed tone, that what he did made me sad. Sometimes we make him stand in this corner -


I'm afraid this tactic won't work for too long though. Even at 2 years old, Malik tries to move around a little from his time out corner just to see how far he can stretch our patience. I have no idea what to do when that happens, except that physical punishment is not an option. Any suggestions?

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4 comments:

  1. Suggetions: ginagawa ko kay calleigh

    1. throwing her toys pag badtrip sya - stop playing pack up lahat then explain. Ofcourse iiyak sya so she wont listen so divert ko muna sa iba attention nya then pag okay na tska ako mag explain.

    2. Quiet chair mga seconds lang kasi di naman sila makikinig pag matagal e. 10-30 seconds okay na. Pag nakikita ko na malapit na sya mainis or magalit thats the time na kukunin ko then quiet chair. So na divert ko na attention nya then explain.

    3. Pag di talaga mapigilan i give her options. Still divert yung attention

    4. Playing with friends tapos magagalit bigla or maiinis - quiet time kme dadalhin ko sa room then give her water or milk then i wont talk to her pag relax na then i explain ulit.

    5. Last pag super super wild na --- pinapalo ko sa hands OFCOURSE di malakas para kang naki pag high five ganun lang but may arte. Pag ginawa ko na yun alam na nya na maling mali na sya. Iiyak galore hindi ko kakargahin or kakausapin sya mismo titigil sa pag iyak then papaakyat na sa room for her quiet time.

    So far effective naman. Yung palo well its all about yung ARTE ng parents. Di mo naman kailanagan lakasan or talagang papantalin yung palo. Still sa inyo pa din ni pao kung pano disiplina si malik.:) mas mabuti na yung may takot sila hanggang bata kesa pag mga 5 up na or teenager na kailangan na talagang upakan sa tigas ng ulo.:) hehe! Quiet time is effective.:) si calleigh mga 2x ko pa lang napalo una sinubo ung coin, 2nd pinalo ako ng spoon sa mukha. Haha! Kaloka dba. Ngayon tingin nalang alam na nya.:) mag sorry na agad yun.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey Mishee, the quiet chair looks promising. Thanks!
    P.S. Kaloka ng kumain ng coin! Haha

    ReplyDelete
  3. Most of the time, these days, we remind her that "we don't do that" or "that's not nice" and then ignore. For example, she'll say "blockhead" (she got from Snoopy cartoons) knowing she shouldn't or mess up her toys on purpose-- I don't react right away because I feel like she's just trying to get a reaction from me.

    When she's whining and crying because she can't get her way or she's not communicating what she wants, I've stopped talking to her then. I'll just give very short reminders (no whining, no crying). I won't even ask her na what she wants at that point because she's too worked up to say it (or she'll keep changing her mind-- mommy stay, mommy go away, mommy no, mommy stay in a matter of seconds). So, ignore. I've asked yaya to do the same until she's tired. She usually snaps out of it herself and is all smiles na. We just sit there and watch her cry, make sure she doesn't hurt herself or mess up stuff.

    I used to put her in the corner but I felt it wasn't effective... yet? We've raised our voices with her, but I think we should avoid doing that. We haven't spanked her and it's not something I look forward to and would try to avoid but it's something we might do (with a slipper or a stick).

    The way I see it, the trick is to talk about the bad behavior not right away (when I feel they aren't that receptive) but soon enough that they still make the connection (so not "when dad gets home from work").

    Haaay. Good luck to us! :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Yen, thanks for the tip! We're having an especially difficult time with Malik because he's not speaking yet - at least not in comprehensible sentences. We have to run down what we think he wants until he nods his head to indicate "yes". But if what he wants is not on our list then he gets really frustrated. Kawawa nga. Hay.

    Ignoring him might work. We'll see.

    ReplyDelete

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